奧斯卡典禮經典得獎感言 (下篇)

奧斯卡其實是美國電影一年一度以頒獎之名,向全世界行宣傳之實的盛會,以維持美國流行、娛樂文化在全球的巨大影響力及收益。好在近二十年來美國影藝學院心胸漸開放,開始擁抱其他族裔、文化和人才,繼「第一位黑人影帝」、「第一位黑人影后」這種里程碑後,亞洲人終於上台領獎,這位人士,就是台灣之光李安。

李安被提名三次最佳導演(best director),中兩次(2005《斷背山》,2012 《少年Pi的奇幻漂流》,可見他出手必有佳作。相比之下,英國大師希區考克(Alfred Hitchcock)被提名五次,一次也沒中,瑞典大師英格瑪 ‧ 柏格曼(Ingmar Bergman)提名三次,次次落第,李安不僅為亞洲導演爭光,也為非美國本土導演爭光。

最愛台灣獎

這獎絶對由李安獨得,因為這是奧斯卡85年來,第一次「台灣」和「台中」出現在得獎人感謝名單中。2013年,因為李安的《少年Pi的奇幻漂流》,奧斯卡特別炫爛。他的最佳導演得獎感言,因過份小心而讓人緊張,內容也很普通,基本上都在謝人,除小說作者、電影相關人員外,太太,兩個兒子,甚至連經紀人、律師都一起謝了,另外也依美式文化,說了很多”I love you”。如果李安還有機會上台,真的希望他輕鬆一點,講點不一樣的話。至於全台灣人等在電視機前想聽到的話,他是這麼說的:

I cannot make this movie without the help of Taiwan. We shot there. I want to thank everybody there who helped us, especially the city of Taichung.

沒有台灣的幫忙,我無法拍成此片。我們在那裡拍攝,我要謝謝所有幫助過我們的人,尤其是台中市。

最不知所云獎

因太高興而口齒不清,情有所原,但沒有人像這位義大利影帝Roberto Benigni(1999, Life is Beautiful)那樣,高興到破英文亂講一通,只顧著哈哈大笑,因為這種脫序的自然演出,反而使大家輕鬆起來。不過鏡頭還是敏捷地捕捉到頒獎人眉毛一皺的瞬間。

This is a terrible mistake, because I used up all my English. Now, I don’t know… I am not able to express all my gratitude. My body is in tumult, because it is a colossal moment of joy, so everything is really in a way that I cannot express. I would like to be Jupiter! And kidnap everybody and lie down in the firmament making love to everybody, because I don’t know how to express. It’s a question of love. You are really – this is a mountain of snow, so delicate, the suavity and the kindness. This is something I cannot forget, from the bottom of my heart. And thank you, the Academy Awards, who really loved the movie. Thank you to Italy for the Italian cinema, grazie all’Italia. I owe it to them if I did something good. So grazie all’Italia e grazie all’America, I learned a lot of things here. Thank you very much. And I hope – really I don’t deserve this, but I hope to win some other Oscars! Thank you! Thank you very much! Thank you!

天大的錯誤…我不知道,太感激了,無法表達..,愛每一個人…仁慈…我打心眼裡無法忘懷..是我欠的,我做了什麼好事…

最賴皮獎

和今年金馬獎最佳新導演陳哲藝可相比的,就是2003年最佳男主角Adrien Brody(鋼琴家,The Pianist),當樂隊奏樂暗示他下台時,他要樂隊不要催,又滔滔不絶講了一堆,其實頗為失禮。好在他說的內容不錯,得到如雷掌聲。那時美伊戰爭剛開打,他因演了二次大戰為背景的「鋼琴家」,特別有立場為不人道的戰爭說幾句話。

Wait, one second, one second, please, one second. Cut it out, cut it out. I get one shot at this. I’m sorry. I didn’t say more than five names, I don’t think, but… It fills me with great joy, but I am also filled with a lot of sadness tonight, because I’m accepting an award at such a strange time. And, you know, my experiences of making this film made me very aware of the sadness and the dehumanization of people at times of war, and the repercussions of war, and whomever you believe in, if it’s God or Allah, may he watch over you, and let’s pray for a peaceful and swift resolution.

等一下,等一下,拜託,別奏了…我太高興了,可是我今晚也滿是悲傷,因為我在如此異常的時刻領此獎。因為拍此片,我對戰爭的悲哀、對人道的摧殘及戰爭的後遺症有深刻體會。不論你的信仰是什麼,願上帝或阿拉庇佑你們。祈禱和平趕快到來。

最佳自嘲獎

在美國文化中,自嘲代表寬容大度和修養,即使獲得最爛演技獎,也不必躲起來怕人笑,反而要站出來,把自己作弄一番,博君一樂。

金酸莓獎(Golden Raspberry Awards)在奧斯卡典禮前一天舉行,獎項和奧斯卡幾個大獎一樣,只是「最佳」改成「最爛」。敢前往領獎的,都會得到最熱烈的掌聲和笑聲。Halle Berry以演貓女一片(2004, Cat Woman)獲「最爛女主角」獎,她上台時,很聰明地把兩年前得的小金人往台上一放,然後「我的天啊!」叫個不停,還把幫她一起拍爛片的人都謝了一遍,效果一流。結束前總算說了兩句正經話:

When I was a kid, my mother told me that if you could not be a good loser, then there is no way you could be a good winner. If you weren’t able to take criticism, then you were not worthy of getting praise.

敗而不餒,才能勝而不驕。善聽諍言,才值讚語。